Finding Your Place: How to Join a Dance Community That Feels “Closed”
You walk into class or a dance social. The room is buzzing - laughter, familiar hugs, friends greeting each other across the floor. You smile, but inside, you’re wondering: Do I belong here?
If you’ve ever felt like an outsider in a dance community, you’re not alone. Even the friendliest dance scenes can feel intimidating at first - especially when certain groups already seem to have their rhythm together.
But the good news is: connection in dance isn’t about being “in the circle.” It’s about showing up, staying open, and giving yourself time to be seen. Here is a quick (and completely non-exhaustive) list of ideas for making the journey from “the newcomer” to “part of the group”.
1. Remember - It’s Not Personal
When a group seems closed off, it usually isn’t about you. Most people stick with their friends out of comfort, not rejection. It takes energy to meet someone new, and in social settings, people tend to follow habit.
Instead of assuming you’re being left out, remind yourself: This group just knows each other well. That simple mindset shift can take away the sting and help you stay open instead of retreating. It will also create a subtle difference in how you act, sending a message of openness instead of seeming stand-offish.
2. Start Small: Smile, Say Hi, Repeat
Connection starts with small, consistent gestures. Say hi to the teacher before class, and to the dancer who stood next to you during the last session. Compliment someone on their dancing. Ask if they’ve been coming long. You don’t need a grand introduction - small warmth, repeated over time, builds trust faster than you think.
Pro tip: If you’re shy, focus on one new person per class. It’s less pressure and more genuine.
3. Take Initiative on the Dance Floor
At socials, don’t wait to be asked every time. Invite someone to dance - even once per night - and it’ll change how the room feels. People remember friendly faces who make the effort.
Too shy, or not sure if this would be acceptable? Compliment another dancer. Whether you like their dancing or their outfit, let them know. They will appreciate the compliment, and remember the person who gave it to them.
And if you’re a beginner, remember: most experienced dancers love helping newer ones feel included. You’re not “bothering” anyone by asking - you’re contributing to the social energy.
4. Join Activities Outside of Class
Many dance friendships deepen in spaces around dancing - group dinners, practice sessions, dance performances, volunteer events, even WhatsApp chats for socials.
If your community has those opportunities, show up and/or invite others in your group to participate. Being present off the floor often makes it easier to feel connected on the floor.
5. Give It Time - and Keep Showing Up
Every dance community has its rhythm. Sometimes it takes a few weeks, even months, for people to notice and open up. That’s okay. Keep showing up, keep smiling, keep dancing. The consistency will do the quiet work for you.
Over time, the same dancers who once seemed distant will start greeting you by name. And one day, you’ll realize - you’ve become part of the rhythm too.
A Gentle Reminder
Belonging isn’t something that’s given; it’s something that’s built. When you approach dance spaces with openness, curiosity, and kindness, you start to change not only your own experience - but the atmosphere around you.
Your presence matters more than you know. Keep dancing, keep showing up - and the circle will open.
Feeling inspired to explore the world of dance? Dance Flavor offers live and on-demand classes in various styles. Don’t be shy -contact us with any questions, or to try a private class in the dance of your choice!
